Are You Aware?

Life Will Go On?

twych — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 20:37:35 +0000

Are you aware As that long as I have my notepad, life will go on.
If typing to myself is insane, than what do you people call typing to random strangers?
Is this world made for artistic people, or bland people?
Being artistic can almost make you an outcast in this life.
Thinking about it long and hard, it should be the other way around.
Or maybe i’m the other way around, should thinking outside the box mean your stuck in the box from birth.
I started as 1 single cell and split into millions, yet my purposes is bland.
Eat, sleep, procreate, repeat.
They say life is what you make it, but I still havn’t meet they.
What do ‘they’ really know about me?
No one human being on this earth is the same, yet we are all supossed go by the same old sayings and guidelines in life?
Begging to differ is begging to be an outcast.

My Life Sucks, I Can’t Stop Eating…

twych — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 19:04:03 +0000

I just ate a mcdonalds and it got worse
ive just finished off a bacon cheeseburger with fries, six onion rings and a rolo milkshake. after i was done, i found myself craving for more rather than disgusted at myself. THAT, was the worrying thing!

On top of that, last night I ordered a pizza. Friday I ordered a pizza too and also on early friday morning I had ANOTHER Mcdonalds. That’s without all the other shit in between. That right there is probably more than a whole african family consumes in their lifetime.

I actually felt ashamed walking down my driveway with another Mcdonalds bag for the 2nd time in two nights.

To make things worse, I got home on Friday after work and masturbated to a pair of womens high heels. I then drank myself silly with 55% absinthe because I can’t get 80% here in the UK without having it imported.

It doesn’t end their, I’ve masturbated so many times over the weekend my dick appears to have permanently shrunk and appears to have no blood circulation whatsoever. Its not that that bothers me, its just that if it wasnt alredy small enough it just got smaller.

I don’t believe in God myself, but so many people say he does exist so if he really does why the fukk is he doing this to me? Seriously, I never give no one no beef and this is how I get repaid.

Please, take a minute to appreciate just how much better your life is than mine. Just be greatful you are not me.

Just Moved Into Hell House…

twych — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:57:36 +0000

Are you aware that yesterday I moved into my new rented house with three other mates for uni. Within two hours of entering the house, I was earth slammed through my brand new bed by two of my housemates. This resulted im my bed brocken before I even sat on it.

Now I thought this was bad and that the day couldnt get any worse – how wrong was I. In the afternoon the same two house mates break out their BB guns – an MP5 and another one. After being shot by both guns set to auto I had several red marks all over my body, and a couple of the shots caused bleeding and a lot of pain. So Ive now been owned twice in the same day.

Moving onto the evening, I was rushed and carried into a small cupboard. I was then locked into this cuboard which smelt of piss for some time. Ive never been tripple owned before, and its not nice.

Im now waiting for the two military grade 9 flashbangs (the ones which blow out the windows, and can set fire to your house) they have to be thrown into my room in the middle of the night.

I have 11 months of this!

Wiggers, What’s Wrong?

twych — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:54:42 +0000

Are you aware I never got beat down I got along with pretty much everyone but back when I was in school there weren’t so many wiggers. They’re just really fucking annoying to see and to be around and I personally think they’re a burden to the advancement of our society. I agree, I usally don’t worry about other people but when it’s almost a whole damn generation it gets rediculous and sh*t needs to stop. But of course, I’m just a person, not like I can actually do anything about it. Just my rants.

I’m A Fat Slob With No Friends…

twych — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 18:10:12 +0000

Are you aware I was eating my third Big Mac today and I was getting that greasy stuff all over my hands. I didnt even really think about it but instead of using a napkin I felt compelled to lick it all off of myself. Right then I had a revelation. I looked down at myself and realized what a fat slob I have become. In high school I was a star quarterback and now my wife wont even touch me intimately anymore. I cant see my feet or my genitals. I started to alternate between laughing histarically and crying right there in front of a bunch of people in McDonalds. They have those narrow seats there and when I tried to get up and leave really fast because I was emberassed, I got stuck for a minute. That made the teenagers next to me start laughing at me. I was really crying then and I heard a little girl ask her mommy what was wrong with that fat man. I lost it today and threw the rest of my milkshake at them. I went home and now I dont want to leave the house. Ive eaten every Little Debbie snack in the whole house and Ive been crying for hours. Nobody loves me and everyone thinks im a freak. I tried to talk to my wife and she left to stay at ther mothers for a while with the kids. I really need some friends.

At The Club Last Night…

twych — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:37:49 +0000

Are you aware i went out to a club last night to get over my gf and i saw this hot chick dancing on the dancefloor by herself, i started dancing near her then got real close and tried to grind but she turned away from me, anyway i tried to be alpha and kept getting near her and flirting and this f*cking loser guy came over and started grinding with her, he put her arms on her hips and she had her hands on his shoulders and id had enough so i grabbed him by the arm and said “hey ******* the girls with me” she told me to let go of him and started grabbing my arm away so i told her to shut her mouth, i then told the guy that i saw her first and that im an alpha male and shes mine, he told me to fuck off, so later on i saw that motherf*cker at the bar and i grabbed a f*cking beer mug and f*cking smashed it over his fucking head, he dropped to the ground so i kicked him in the ribs and face about 7 times then picked up a stool and smashed him with it, i had to spend a night in jail but it was worth it, i didnt get the chicks number but im gonna look for her next time at the club and be more alpha next time

Hit a Squirrel With My Bike… The Stomped It…Opps

twych — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:52:36 +0000

I was riding my bike down the bike trail near my house doing my daily cardio. Im flying and all of a sudden a squirrel runs in front of me I try to swerve almost falling off my bike but I don’t, although I ran right over this crazy squirrel.
His abdomen is crushed and he is squirming with some of his guts hanging out. Im thinking “oh no what do I do?!”. I know this thing was going to die and it was in pain, so I have to shorten its misery quickly as possible. I stomp hard on its head many times, and with each stomp I grunted a bit.

Well, I see a family with two small kids came up behind me and are seeing me doing this. the look on the parents and kids faces is something that will haunt me in my dreams tonight.
I sped off due to embarrassment and instinct, leaving the bloody squirrel carcass behind. the kids are young I can only imagine this may affect them.

I put this all down to bad place and bad timing. I feel pretty crappy.

Random Asshat In The Restroom … Rant Part 3

twych — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 21:32:53 +0000

Are you aware, this is actually very simple. You take a dump, you flush. OFTEN.
There’s no reason in the fucking world to sit there hatching some rancid pile of yer wife’s leftover meatloaf and the egg-salad sandwich from yesterday’s lunch, refusing to flush until you’ve squeezed off every last round, all the while filling every cubic centimeter of breathable air with your foul gut-stench.
Again, flushes are FREE!
It’s not the electric chair, don’t be scared to pull that lever.
Remember the 3 P’s of courteous bowel blowing:
Push that shit out!
Pinch it off.
Pull the fuckin’ flush handle.
Repeat as needed.
Regardless of how much you enjoy the aroma of your own private fecal fest, the rest of us want to slip into the bathroom and back out without an uncontrollable rush of involuntary gag-heaves.
A whiff is understandable/acceptable.
A viscous, impenetrable fog of your scatological emissions is not.

That is all.

Cliff’s: Yer shit stinks, flush it fer cryin’ out loud!

Random Asshat In Restroom.. Rant Part 2

twych — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:06:13 +0000

Are you aware that little silver lever mounted up on the side of the pisser makes that hot foamy pool of alarmingly brown pee you just left in the urinal go away. I don’t know what you’ve been eating lately, Dr. Lecter, but you might wanna see a physician. Ya might also try drinking that new “water” thing everybody’s been makin’ all the fuss about.
It may be hard for you to comprehend, but not being a member of the canine family I actually don’t like the smell of someone else’s piss [no sb] wafting up to my nostrils on moistly heated air currents.
And here’s the best part, meathead – it’s absolutely FREE to pull, many times as ya want! No charges will be added to your account, no fees deducted from your paypal.
So do us all a favor, ya fuggin neanderthal – wrap those opposable thumbs around that lever and give it a pull or 2 next time ya mark yer cave.kthnxbai.

Cliffs: Quit with the “piss-n-dash” – nobody can be in that big of a hurry to not flush.

Random Asshat Talking In The Restroom…Rant

twych — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:59:38 +0000

Are you aware I didn’t come in here to talk about the weather/news/sports or any other idle chatter.
In fact, I’d prefer not to carry on a conversation at all while I am urinating.
I came in here for one reason ONLY – to evacuate the urinary content of my uncomfortably expanded bladder.
So don’t linger as you wash your hands in order to finish your humorous little anecdote/observation – you shouldn’t have started it in the first place, and my continued silence after my initial “yeah, whatever” should be your clue.
So STFU, and GTFO.And if I’m having a sit-down and you happen to identify me by my shoes and feel the urge to strike up a convo, I will punch you in the throat and stomp on yer kidneys after I have finished my dump.

That is all.

Cliffs: The mens room is for excretory functions, NOT talking.